Jelly Bean and Smartie
Jelly Bean and Smartie are out on the town. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do you fancy going to that new club in town?" and the Jelly Bean says
"No mate, I'm a soft centre I always end up getting my head kicked in."
So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."
So Jelly Bean says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me." and off they went. After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As sooon as he sees them, Smartie hides under a table, the Lockets take one look at JellyBean and start kicking him, punching him and generally having a laugh.
After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?"
"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are fucking menthol!!