Paddy Joins the IRA
Our old friend Paddy decided to join the IRA. During the initiation ceremony he is given a nail bomb and a bottle of Guinness. "You know what to do with these don't you son? asked the Commander. "Sure I do" said Paddy "D'you think oi'm stoopid?"
A few days later the IRA HQ gets news that Paddy is in hospital so they go to see him. "Did them bloody British soldiers get you?" they asked. "Oh no!" said Paddy "Oi threw the bottle like you said but them nail bombs have given me a hell of a stomach ache".