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Suits You, Sir

There was this bloke who had been suffering with excruciating head pains since he was about 18, and when he reached his late twenties, he thought “enough is enough, I’ve got to go to the Doctors.”

He explained his ailment to his G.P., and returned 1 week later to get the results.

His G.P. sat him down and told him the news. “Well, Mr Smith, it seems to me, that your spinal cord is creating some sort of pressure on the inner cavity of your brain. I can’t quite understand how this has occurred, but I’m afraid the only solution is to remove your testicles to relieve this pressure.”

With this news, the man sat back in his chair in sheer anguish. He now had to decide on his future. Did he leave his testicles in place and endure immense pain for the rest of his days, or did he go ahead with the operation and relieve his great pain? The Doctor asked him to decide.

“O.K.” he said, “I’ll have to remove them, I simply can’t go like this. I will have to give in to a sexless life.”

So he undergoes the operation.

He awakens from the anaesthetic to feel no pain whatsoever. With this new found joy, he literally skips out of the hospital to start his new painless life.

“I know” he says, “I’ll go and treat myself to a new suit” With this, he goes to a very swanky tailor on Saville Row.

Upon entering, the Tailor greets him and says, “Good day to you, Sir. How may I be of assistance?”

The man replies, “I am feeling on top of the world, so I’m looking to buy a complete outfit from head to toe”

“Very good, Sir. I know exactly the sort of thing you are looking for.” says the Tailor.

The Tailor then claims, “I can see that Sir is a 15′ Collar, a 34′ inch chest and a 30′ waist.”

“That’s amazing” said the man. “You can tell all that just by looking at me?”

“Oh yes, Sir. 28 years of experience, Sir.” the Tailor replies.

“Incredible” the man says.

The Tailor continues, “Sir will be needing a size eight and a half shoe.”

“Astounding!” replies the man

“with a medium vest, medium socks,”

“Good Lord, that’s astonishing!” says the man again.

“and medium briefs”

The man immediately interrupts, “HA – caught you out I don’t wear medium briefs, I wear small briefs, I have done since I was a teenager”

The Tailor is somewhat confused, and replies, “But Sir, If a gentleman of your size, build and posture were to wear small briefs, it would cause immense pressure on your testicles pushing on your spinal cord, resulting in a severe migraine…”

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