Painful Knob
A man is concerned about a dull throbbing pain in his knob and seeks medical advice.
His GP tells him: "I'm afraid it's simply wearing out and under normal circumstances there would be nothing I can do to help, however there is a brand new experimental procedure which you could undergo, it involves using part of an elephants trunk, but it does have it's risks in terms of after effects."
"Anything! says the man, "I have an extremely active sex life and can't bear the thought of never being able to shag again".
Off he goes for the operation and 3 weeks later he's passed fit to resume normal sex.
He invites an extremely attractive neighbour over for dinner, things are going really well when he feels a stiring below, his knob becomes so large it's getting painful and he undoes his zip.
With that, his enormous grey appendage leaps out, shoots across the table, takes a bread bun and just as quickly, disappears into his trousers.
"My word!" says his guest, extremely impressed and slightly curious, "can you do that again?".
He replied in a shocked voice "Probably, but I don't think I could fit another bread bun up my arse!"