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Father Christmas the Bastard

This guy is on a rooftop about to jump off. His wife has left him,he has lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank. Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump,Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder. “Are you OK?” asks Father Christmas. The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump. “Stop!” shouts Father Christmas. “I will grant you three wishes on the understanding that you will do me a favour”. “Would you?” the man replies. “That would be wonderful!! Thank you,thank you!” Father Christmas grants him the three wishes:

1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexy underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return,she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.

2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue with your work. Your salary will have increased by $350,000. Also, nobody will have any recollection of your sacking.

3. You shall go to your bank and you will be in credit, you will have no outstanding bills.

“Oh thank you, thank you !” says the man. “What is it that I can do for you?” Father Christmas tells the man to drop his pants and bend over. After a quite brutal rogering, Father Christmas asks the man how old he is. “36″ replies the man. “You’re a bit old to believe in Father Christmas !!” laughs the jolly fat gay bastard as he runs off into the distance.

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