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Gnome Horse Whisperer

A man who owned a pub-restaurant, and was fond of a bet, had a horse that was always upset. He, the vet and all his friends had tried everything to cheer the horse up, but it moped the whole day long and depressed all his customers who would see it hanging its’ head in the stables outside the restaurant.

One day, he decided to challenge all his customers, and hung a huge sign up above the bar. It read:
“Any customer who can cheer up my horse will win a meal on the house, free beer for a week and can even sleep with my wife if they can keep the horse happy for the whole week!”.
He was sure that nobody could acheive this task.

Weeks and months passed, and many people had tried and failed. Some had even spent a lot of time and tried many times in an attempt to have the landlord’s wife. The horse was, in fact, glummer than ever. One fine day, however, a gnome appeared in the pub, and read the notice very carefully. He indicated his intention to the barman, and the bet was on.

The gnome went into the stables and whispered something into the horse’s ear. Immediately, the horse erupted in fits of laughter, and could bearly keep it’s balance whinnying and neighing and stamping its feet. The gnome walked back into the pub and reluctantly the landlord gave him free food, free beer and told him the rest of the bet would be fulfilled by the end of the week, to await proof that the horse would stay happy.

The days passed and the horse was still laughing and stamping around (and the gnome was consuming copious amounts of free beer), so much so that the landlord feared for his wife’s honour and began to hate the horse being so happy. He even wished that it would go back to being miserable again.

The end of the week came around, and the gnome had made his deadline. The landlord was really unhappy because the horse was annoying him more than before, and so he tried a final gambit. He told the gnome he could only have his wife for the night if he could get the horse to be unhappy again.

Off went the gnome to the stables again, and whispered something into the horse’s ear. Then he unzipped his fly and immediately the horse’s expression changed and he began to look even more upset and depressed than before.

The landlord cried out in desperation and picked the gnome up against the wall. “At least tell me how you managed to cheer up my horse, and then to make it so sad with just a whisper and the sound of a zip,” he said.

“Simple,” replied the gnome, “First I told him my dick was bigger than his. He had to laugh.”
“But what about the second thing with the whispering and the zip?” Enquired the landlord.

“Well, I repeated my statement but then actually PROVED it to be true..

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