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Ladies From Towns

There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn’t for fame,
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker,
And thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.

There was a young vampire called mable,
Whose periods were always quite stable,
At every full moon
she took out a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

There was a young plumber from Lee,
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
She said stop your plumbing,
I think someone’s coming,
Said the plumber still plumbing “its me”!

A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
In North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
Making love to his girl in the rockery,
She said look you’ve cum,
All over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.

There was a young lassie from Morton,
Who had one long tit and one short ‘en,
On top of all that,
A great hairy twat,
And a fart like a six fifty Norton.

There was a young girl called Molly,
Who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back,
And opened her crack.
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.

There was a young man from Harrow,
Who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart,
Try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow.

There was a young girl from Hitchen,
Who was scratching her crutch in the kitchen.
Her mother said “Rose,
Its crabs I suppose”.
She said “bollocks, get on with your knitting”

There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small,
Almost nothing at all.
But the other was big and won prizes

Jokes by Category > Limericks jokes

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