Keir Mitchell shocks the world with his Chopper, wins stage

Incredible but true, Keir Mitchell has hit back at critics by showing the world that he can indeed ride. As others on the Fella’s tour failed to even get out of bed, Keir got up to call a blonde bird who stole Paul Evans’ Raleigh Chopper (see attached publicity photo) and did the business. Rumours that Keir stole a bunch of alarm clocks from the Fella’s tour caravans or that his sweaty chopper is up for sale on eBay after the victory remain to be confirmed.

Keir's Chopper

372(+0) Joost Dantuma (UK)
370(+0) Simon White (France)
327(+0) Francis Lee (France)
318(+0) Paul Evans (France)
74 (+14) Keir Mitchell (UK)

In the reverse championship for the wooden spoon, Adios Mofo managed 7 points, so Keir hasn’t pulled too far off the “inverse lead”. That bird on his chopper caused a number of the crowd to faint and may therefore have been an excellent diversion tactic to the Mofo team. Today Keir revels in 11th equal place in the top 100 in the TDF game, tomorrow he could be back to rock bottom. That’s cycling for you gentlemen.

As far as the actual tour was concerned, people tried again to attack – Vinokourov like the Energizer Bunny tried a couple of times to get Ullrich going, but Basso and Armstrong were never far behind. The early break – including Flecha and Evans who have tried breaks many times on the tour without success – stayed ahead in sufficient numbers to keep all popular cyclists out of the top ten. Nobody was in general classification contention in the break anyway. Flecha, inspired by Keir’s chopper, did the business and came in for him in 8th. The final winner was Pereiro who was outsprinted by Hincapie in the last stage and was clearly looking to make amends.

Sadly, it looks a lot like smooth sailing for Lance Armstrong unless someone actually manages to properly attack him, or perhaps if he starts to tire because of consistent attacks over the last few days which may drain his energy enough for a final push from Basso or Rasmussen. Or perhaps not, the time trial is usually all for Lance.

Nearly 240km on a fairly flat course with a couple of little climbs awaits the riders tomorrow. Let’s see if we can’t all get a “backy” from Keir’s blonde bint and score some points to get the Fella’s tour going again, while Keir gets back to scoring a little something for his handlebar pipe.

-Simon

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